When we gather in sacred circles, we hold space for each other.
We allow others to have their feelings without intruding on them with offers of tissues, or our own reactions to their feelings—even supportive responses.
This got me thinking about how I do or don’t hold space for myself.
I don’t hold space for myself when I keep myself so busy or so distracted or numb that I can’t feel what needs to be felt.
I don’t hold space for myself when I berate myself for falling short of my own high expectations.
I don’t hold space for myself when drink or eat my way out of loneliness or anxiety or anger.
I do hold space for myself when I have compassion when I have chosen to drink or eat my way out of an uncomfortable emotion.
I do hold space for myself when I ask for what I need rather than feeling resentful when my (unspoken) needs aren’t met.
I do hold space for myself when I make time for self-care through yoga, walking, meditation, writing, reading.
I hold space for myself when I allow myself to see and feel all that needs to be seen and felt rather than banishing it to the shadows.
It reminds me of one of my favorite Rumi poems:
I hold space for myself by inviting each guest in, welcoming each and every one.