100 Observations After 100 Days of Sobriety.

1. I sleep better. 
2. Not perfect, but definitely better.
3. It’s easier to fall asleep, I stay asleep and wake up refreshed.
4. I have more energy.
5. I am more focused.
6. I read more.
7. I have dreams that I drink and I am so disappointed in myself in the dream. 
8. Then I wake up relieved that it was just a dream.
9. I am glad that I decided to share my story. 
10. It has allowed other women to reach out to me for support.
11. My skin looks better. 
12. Actually, it looks to me like it is glowing.
13. I am getting more comfortable being uncomfortable.
14. I feel all my feelings.
15. I am finding new ways to decompress after a long day:
16. Tea.
17. Meditation.
18. Guided body scan.
19. Play with my pups.
20. Reading.
21. I binged on sugar when I first stopped drinking. 
22. That has leveled out.
23. I also binged on social media at first. 
24. Still working on that one.
25. I find it easier to make other heathy choices.
26. I am easy on myself when I don’t.
27. That’s a surprising development. 
28. This newfound compassion for myself.This tenderness.
29. I didn’t go out often at first. 
30. I am slowly making my way back out into the social world.
31. I am saving money. 
32. Like probably $50 a month.
33. I go out to eat less so I am saving money there as well.
34. And when I do go out, the bill isn’t bloated with booze.
35. Everyone has been supportive so far.
36. No awkward questions about why I’m doing it or suggesting that I don’t have a problem or attempts to peer-pressure me into having just one drink.
37. I do notice that some people feel compelled to justify when and how much they do drink. 
38. I listen but I am not judging. 
39. I am doing this for me. 
40. Your path is your path.
41. My dreams are more vivid and involved, often spooling out like novels or movies.
42. My digestion is smooth.
43. I no longer say things drunk that I wouldn’t say sober.
44. If it can’t be said sober, it doesn’t need to be said at all.
45. No hangovers!
46. No shame.
47. I collect sober celebrities.
48. They keep me company on this journey.
49. And they remind me that I am in good company.
50. Demi Moore.
51. Mackelmore.
52. Jennifer Hudson.
53. Jennifer Lopez
54. Bradley Cooper.
55. Brad Pitt
56. Among many, many others.
57. There is no longer this haze shrouding my vision.
58. I see clearly who I am.
59. And who I want to be.
60. I feel like I am living my life on purpose.
61. Not sure how this is related but I no longer buy a bunch of stuff.
62. I am buying less books.
63. Less clothes.
64. Less stuff to clutter up my life.
65. I go to Target and actually stick to my list.
66. Maybe I am not longer trying fill myself up.
67. Maybe I no longer see myself as broken.
68. In need of fixing.
69. Maybe I am finally able to embrace all parts of myself.
70. No longer numbing to parts I don’t like.
71. No longer trying to not feel what I am, indeed, feeling.
72. I listen more intently.
73. To myself.
74. To those around me.
75. To my body.
76. To my intuition.
77. I have space in my life to do the things that I always say I want/need to do:
78. Meditate.
79. Yoga.
80. Writ.
81. Read.
82. Walk.
83. I am clenching my jaw less.
84. I don’t feel guilty when I feel the need to have a jammie day.
85. I am starting to cook more.
86. To be honest, that is probably partly due to the season change, too.
87. I still have the urge to drink.
88. Out of habit.
89. After a long day.
90. Out for a nice dinner.
91. While cooking dinner.
92. I no longer tell myself that I’ll probably drink again at some point so why not now?
93. I have fun without drinking.
94. Even if people around me drink.
95. Summer was a test that I passed:
96. Patios, birthday, Anniversary, Art Fairs. 4th of July without booze.
97. I am experiencing more:
98. Clarity.
99. Grace.
100. Ease.