Today I felt like a slug.
I took one nighttime sinus pill last night to help with a lingering headache and the effects seem to weigh me down. I laid on the couch until it felt like I was melting into it.
Finally, I hauled myself off of it and into the shower. Got myself dressed. Came to the bookstore. Ordered a chai (hoping the caffeine would help jumpstart me out of this energetic stupor) then began to write my morning pages (even though it was two o’clock in the afternoon.)
One of the first things to come out was this so-called rule that if I had to go to the bookstore to write rather than sit in the perfectly lovely writing space I created at home, then I wasn’t a real writer.
I recently unearthed a bunch of rules I have absorbed over the years about food. It was a long list.
So, I decided to do the same with this. What other rules were lurking around?
I should have a degree to be a real writer.
I should have a book published to be a real writer.
I should write a certain amount of words or for a certain length of time on my current WIP to be a real writer. (The amounts are always totally unrealistic.)
I should work on my WIP and not the ten other kinds of writing I may do on any given day.
I picture this rule-maker as an older woman, dressed in black, with a tight severe bun, pacing around, slapping a ruler against her palm.Once I have a visual it is easier to remember that her job is create rules. She thinks she is helping me. Just like it is my mind’s job to churn out thoughts. My job isn’t to stop either one. My job is to observe and then move on.
Meditating doesn’t mean not thinking. That happen when we die. Meditation is about observing the thoughts, becoming intimate with the mind while not getting swept away by the current.
Same with Ms. Rule-Maker. Once I acknowledge her, I can give her a brief nod that says, “Thank you for your input, I’ll keep that in mind” then go on my way.
That is exactly what I did today. And I managed to get everything on my writing agenda done:
Morning Pages Writing Practice Read and do exercises from “You Are a Badass at Making Money” Work on WIP
New rule: Writing anywhere, on anything for any length of time makes me a writer.