I just meditated for 10 minutes.
It’s not very long but I’ve been showing up for only 1-5 minutes recently so that is double. And any meditation is better than no meditation.
I sat. And sat. And sat. And finally checked my phone thinking that I had turned the ringer off because it had to be 10 minutes by now.
It had been less than 6.
I almost quit.
I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. My wind was being whipped all over the place.
Then I heard the phrase “Come back.”
It was gentle, yet firm.
Compassionate, not judging.
So, I came back. I came back to my breath. To the sounds of traffic and birds. To the feeling of the sun on my neck. To the feeling of the mat against my feet. To the thoughts that continued to spin inside my head.
I spend so much time berating and judging myself for wandering off the path of a goal I set for myself whether it is to eat more vegetable or drink less wine or consume less social media. That Inner Judge doesn’t lead me back but tosses me into a spiral of shame.
What if I use “come back” as a gentle reminder instead of shaming myself?
As a way to guide myself back to the present.
Back to myself.
And what if I remember that this straying and guiding myself back is part of the journey? The process? The dance? And not proof of my failure?
How would that change not only my meditation practice but my life?