Dancing with the Blahs.

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I woke up feeling meh this morning.

Nothing tragic. Nothing terrible. Just meh. Blah.

Now, much of the time I give in to that feeling. Give in to the physical, mental, emotional and energetic inertia by hunkering down on the couch with Netflix and my phone and hours later, (surprise surprise!) I feel ten times worse.

I want to be clear. This is not depression. This is just a normal ebb and flow of energy, of emotions. Today, instead of giving in to it I chose to dance with it.

I got on my mat and did a gentle practice just moving in a way that felt good, not to achieve anything other than being present in my body.

Then I meditated for 15 minutes.

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Then I took my dog over to the park where we walked around the lake for an hour, more moving of the body and connecting with this beautiful world that often doesn’t feel beautiful when I view it from the incredibly myopic view from my phone.

Then I brought myself here to the bookstore, one of my happy places where I can browse and write and dream and be out in the world without really having to talk to anyone.

After all that I am feeling much less meh. Much less blah.

I am feeling content.

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Listening to my Body.

just be

Image found via Pinterest.

My low back hurts.

It’s not completely out but it is definitely talking to me.

I’ve felt it coming for a few days. There was that twinge going up into forearm plank Sunday morning. There was the moment when I almost fell off  a bike during a 14-mile ride later that same day and twisted kind of funny. There was the day my dog almost yanked me off my feet chasing a squirrel on our walk. Then there was moving our daughter out of her apartment yesterday. First I felt a little tweak lifting something  heavy onto the trailer and I was at an odd angle. When I really felt it was when I leaned down in the car to pick up a piece of paper.

That’s all it finally took, a stupid, small move but like I said, it had been building up.

So, no I’m not flat on my back. I can move, walk, (hopefully) drive, do some gentle yoga. I know how to care for my back.

When I ask my body what this is telling me this is what I hear: Less doing, more being.

That makes total sense. I feel like each time I get to this point it is because of exactly this. I get so caught up in doing: doing the laundry the minute it begins to pile up in the hamper, cleaning the house every day, logging more miles walking and biking, teaching and subbing and more teaching and subbing as I save money for our trip to Europe, writing and blogging every day.

So much doing, doing, doing.

So little just being.

So for now, if you need me I’ll be here, just being.

Being present.

Being still.

Being here.

Sticking with a Morning Routine.

good morning

Image found via Pinterest.

I’ve always struggled sticking with things.

I never played an instrument so didn’t have that structure of practice to fall back on.

I’ve been great at starting things, then letting them fall away out of boredom or frustration or because I didn’t know what came next.

Writing used to be that way for me.

I’d write for days and days at a stretch then I’d just stop. Picking up the pen after each day had passed got progressively harder and harder.

But now I’ve written something every single day since January 1, 2016. That discipline of showing up has carried over into other parts of my life.

I now have a morning routine that stays pretty consistent:

~ splash cold water on my face

~ scrape my tongue

~ drink a glass of water

~ meditate

~ my own yoga practice which consists of a variety of poses and exercises gleaned from classes, physical therapy and videos designed to realign the hips

That is how I start most mornings. Then I weave in healthy meals, writing Morning Pages, working on my WIP, posting here, taking long walks with my dog, taking a yoga class, reading, prepping to teach 8 classes a week.

The structure of showing up each day to write no matter what my mood has had a huge impact on my life. Sticking with this morning routine stems from that but it also comes from the fact that I just feel better when I treat myself well. When I take care of me. (It’s not just a hashtag.)

I’ve played with this routine, adding new things in (pelvic reset), letting other things go (pranayama). After all, there are only so many hours in a day. But what allows me to keep showing up to myself is the fact that it feels good. I feel better. I have more energy, I am more focused, I handle stress better and I sleep better so it is easier to get up the next morning and make choices that nourish me.

What about you? Do you have a morning routine that you follow? What does it include? I’d love to hear.